Iâ€™m not going into all the details because, the details are scary and they make me feel sad and Iâ€™ve taken a lot of time feeling sad and angry and scared. So Iâ€™m just going to come right out with it.
I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis on August 28th 2017. Colter was out of town working so I took my kids to sonic for slushy and I talked to my mom on the phone for a few hours.
Here are things you should know
I am the same person I was before.
I think the scariest part, aside from the whole â€˜your body is slowly trying to attack you from the insideâ€™ thing, is the way people react when they find out. So here is your chance to not be weird about it. I mean, sure Multiple Sclerosis is going to be with me for the remainder of my life, unless they find a cure, but I donâ€™t need sad eyes because I am totally great.
Iâ€™ve decided to share this because MS is apart of my life now, even though I wish it wasnâ€™t, I want to do some good and I want to bring some light and I want to share and I want to raise my voice and I just want to do all the things because I can.
This past year has been filled with ups and downs, a lot of new things I thought I would never have to deal with and you always hear everyone say what doesnâ€™t kill you makes you stronger. Well, does it though? Just being honest here, thereâ€™s been a lot of tears and fear. And I didnâ€™t expect to come out stronger, I expect there to be struggles because thereâ€™s an ever changing normal around here. I have pretty great husband that puts up with me blaming everything on MS, because I HAVE MS. And damn it, if I can get out of doing the dishes once in a while Iâ€™m going to blame the MS. And if that means we get an extra beach day, because I have MSâ€¦well, Iâ€™m better for it. Nothing goes as planned, thatâ€™s for sure. We celebrated 10 years of marriage just a few days ago and Iâ€™m pretty sure this past year has been the hardest so far. Guys, he is solid gold, he loved me through me very significant melt down about a garden snail and blaming him for eye training. (Itâ€™s the MS.)
My Tuesday Truth, I am terrified that I wonâ€™t be accepted through this big change by the people I love, my friends my family & my clients wonâ€™t see me as the same person anymore. That took months of overthinking just to say out loud.Â
On a high note, we took one last family adventure before school starts and weâ€™re all back on a regular schedule. True to my life, nothing went as planned and I drove us straight into the clouds at the top of Hurricane Ridge and quickly had a panic attack when I couldnâ€™t see 5 feet in front of our car. Decided to turn around in the middle of the road at 6,210 feet above sea level with the clouds and cried when I finally made that 13 point turn. We made it though guys, we ARE alive. Colter drove us to the bottom, where we set up for family pictures and realized I forgot the doodad for my tripod, being the mountainous man he is set up a log for my camera and got it all set up so we could get one family portrait, in which my son is making a really great face.Â