Tuesday Truth | Wind + Bird Photography Washington Family Lifestyle Photographer

I’m not going into all the details because, the details are scary and they make me feel sad and I’ve taken a lot of time feeling sad and angry and scared. So I’m just going to come right out with it.

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis on August 28th 2017. Colter was out of town working so I took my kids to sonic for slushy and I talked to my mom on the phone for a few hours.

Here are things you should know

I am the same person I was before.

I think the scariest part, aside from the whole ‘your body is slowly trying to attack you from the inside’ thing, is the way people react when they find out. So here is your chance to not be weird about it. I mean, sure Multiple Sclerosis is going to be with me for the remainder of my life, unless they find a cure, but I don’t need sad eyes because I am totally great.

I’ve decided to share this because MS is apart of my life now, even though I wish it wasn’t, I want to do some good and I want to bring some light and I want to share and I want to raise my voice and I just want to do all the things because I can.

This past year has been filled with ups and downs, a lot of new things I thought I would never have to deal with and you always hear everyone say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Well, does it though? Just being honest here, there’s been a lot of tears and fear. And I didn’t expect to come out stronger, I expect there to be struggles because there’s an ever changing normal around here. I have pretty great husband that puts up with me blaming everything on MS, because I HAVE MS. And damn it, if I can get out of doing the dishes once in a while I’m going to blame the MS. And if that means we get an extra beach day, because I have MS…well, I’m better for it. Nothing goes as planned, that’s for sure. We celebrated 10 years of marriage just a few days ago and I’m pretty sure this past year has been the hardest so far. Guys, he is solid gold, he loved me through me very significant melt down about a garden snail and blaming him for eye training. (It’s the MS.)

My Tuesday Truth, I am terrified that I won’t be accepted through this big change by the people I love, my friends my family & my clients won’t see me as the same person anymore. That took months of overthinking just to say out loud. 

On a high note, we took one last family adventure before school starts and we’re all back on a regular schedule. True to my life, nothing went as planned and I drove us straight into the clouds at the top of Hurricane Ridge and quickly had a panic attack when I couldn’t see 5 feet in front of our car. Decided to turn around in the middle of the road at 6,210 feet above sea level with the clouds and cried when I finally made that 13 point turn. We made it though guys, we ARE alive. Colter drove us to the bottom, where we set up for family pictures and realized I forgot the doodad for my tripod, being the mountainous man he is set up a log for my camera and got it all set up so we could get one family portrait, in which my son is making a really great face. 

 

2 Comments

  1. Emily August 29, 2018

    You’re a beautiful soul. I’m refreshed to see a woman who doesn’t apologize for having feelings or for being human. You’re still you, and the people who were real before, will be real now. Those who love you, still will. It’s ok to be afraid, but don’t let it overtake you. ❤❤❤

    Reply
  2. Rachel Koping August 30, 2018

    You’re incredibly brave to share the story of your health and your journey with the world. Sending you all the good vibes I can, & if you ever need anything I’m here in manette! Also, this picture is fabulous!!

    Reply

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